The power of friendship

When you were little, your parents usually chose your friends, taking you to playgrounds or arranging play dates with certain children they knew and liked.

Now that you are older, you decide who your friends are and what groups you spend time with.

Your friends - your peers - are people your age or close to it, who have experiences and interests similar to yours. You and your friends make dozens of decisions every day, and you influence each other's choices and behaviour. This is often positive; it's human nature to listen to and learn from other people in your age group.

As you become more independent, your peers naturally play a greater role in your life. As school and other activities take you away from home, you may spend more time with peers than you do with your parents and siblings. You will probably develop close friendships with some of your peers, and you may feel so connected to them that they become like an extended family.



Figuring out who you are

These peers also influence you by the way they dress and act, the things they are involved in, and the attitudes they show. You already know that the teen years can be tough. You are figuring out who you are, what you believe, what you are good at, what your responsibilities are, and what your place in the world is going to be.

It is comforting to face those challenges with friends who are into the same things that you are, but you probably also hear what adults, parents, teachers, guidance counsellors, etc. have to say about peer pressure.

You may not hear a lot about it, but peers can have a profoundly positive influence on each other and play important roles in each other's lives. For example, among peers, you can find friendship and acceptance and share experiences that can build lasting bonds.



Good influence

Peers set plenty of good examples for each other, too. Having peers who are committed to doing well at school or doing their best in a sport can influence you to be more goal-orientated. Your peers may also get you involved in social clubs, sports or religious groups.

It is not always easy to resist negative peer pressure, but when you do, it is easy to feel good about it afterwards, and you may even be a positive influence on your peers who feel the same way. It often just takes one person to speak out or take a different action to change a situation.