Address the root causes of violent deaths in relationships

Every day, we see and hear about news reports about women killed by their spouses or lovers, and vice versa.

You wonder why this is happening. Is it a curse on our country, or is there something wrong with us? These days, we see such tragedies as everyday occurrences, mere stories and conversational fodder.

At coffee shops, pubs, roadside chat spots, and other places, some may even chuckle when talking about these incidents.

Some may laugh and point fingers, while others may claim that demonic spirits are at work, etc. However, I have frequently questioned what steps we have taken to prevent these cyclical tragedies that take our people away in such an agonising manner. Nobody would choose to end their life in this way.

There must be a reason for things to fall apart like this, resulting in these killings.

Many family members have lost loved ones in this manner, and we can never expect them to heal.

We have become an angry nation with no peace. Many men suffer from rage and lack self-esteem due to a weakened social structure. What can we do to prevent these awful killings from continuing?

Article 6 of the Namibian Constitution clearly states that the right to life shall be respected and protected. Article 8 makes it clear that respect for human dignity shall be guaranteed.

As a government and society, what discoveries have we made to find the root causes that lead men to tragically kill the women they promised to love for the rest of their lives? In the field of human science, what studies have been conducted, what findings have emerged and what solutions are being proposed? Should we continue merely reporting the news or are there discoveries that can help us stop or reduce these tragedies?

In a 2022 New Era article written in 2022 by Matheus Hangula, a student counsellor at the National Institute of Technology, the growing issue of mental health problems among men was highlighted.

I agree that something is causing men to lose control to the extent of harshly killing women.

Something – a belief, a culture or a deficiency of mentorship from childhood – should be considered.

I am fully aware that a child who was not mentored, well-trained or disciplined, or brought up in an abusive environment, or exposed to hell from a young age and not brought up with love, often ends up doing things beyond his or her control, leading a lost life.

What is the ministry of gender doing?

Social workers need to go out there and seriously address this issue.

Education in this regard must be taken seriously. A campaign must be carried out to teach and train young men to respect women and understand the importance of healthy relationships. We can’t just jump to teaching sex in schools without addressing the significance of relationships.

In most of the studies I’ve done, we merely speak, feel pity and cry to put the case to rest, but that’s all. How long will we sit there doing nothing? What steps can we take to teach people not to repeat history?

All law enforcement does is arrest people and then move on. The tale continues, but what other strategies and tactics might we implement to prevent crime and horrific sins like murder? Do we know that the area flooded with innocent sobbing blood gathers curses, and God’s wrath grows fierce?

We need to discover what is causing all the strife and anger in men, or what women do that pushes men to commit these horrible sins. Then, once we unveil the cause, we take action to teach our society, school learners and men and women to stop the killings.

As a Namibian child who grew up without parents and survived many hurtful incidents, my proposed solutions are:

Let us create a platform that empowers men or gives men the freedom to speak out.

Carry out mentorship for young women and men to understand the purpose and importance of relationships and marriage and what it takes to nurture healthy relationships and marriages.

Implement a mental health subject and a different approach to social science subjects in schools and communities.

The guilty offenders must be taken out to schools and communities to share what led them to commit such horrible crimes.

The gender ministry must reach out directly to communities and teach people about human rights and what people should consider healthy and helpful to live a meaningful life.

Government should create a separate body for social affairs so that people can go there to report their cases instead of going to police officers who only believe in guns.

Women should accord respect to their men regardless of earning a higher income than men to maintain societal structure.

Men must love unconditionally and shun evil at all costs.

Parents must teach their kids how to use money and get used to money to later not become victims of the love of money.

Parents should stop pressuring their children into situations that might cost their lives.

Children should be allowed to make their own choices about whom they want to marry or get married to.

Many women and men live in fear of one another because of social damage, and many have accepted it as a way of life.

This mentality should change for the better to restore peace of mind. Hearts are broken and peace is taken away. But is there really nothing we can do?

*Sem Billy David is an entrepreneur, youth leader and chairperson of the Khomas Region. He can be reached at [email protected] or [email protected]